Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The First Week


I went to a concert in high school to see a group called “Graham Colton Band”, they wrote this song call First Week about the first week of a relationship and how awesome it is. It is this special kind of feeling you never get again when you first start dating someone. The last verse in the chorus stanza was “why can’t it be like the first week?” This line really stuck out to me. I’ve often thought about that line whenever I had conflict within my own relationships with my boyfriend and close friends. I always think back to the excitement of a new love interest or a new friend in the first week, how enamored I was of them. And it always helped remind me of how much I care about them and gave me a little perspective.

That being said. In my relationship with Copenhagen, the first week was nothing like that at all. Moving to a new city, in a new part of the world, comes with a whole slew of challenges I anticipated, but was also a little naive about. The most basic things become scary because they are so unfamiliar. Even though I have lived in Copenhagen before, you forget these basic things.

For example,

My bike lock is a monster that I cannot get to work, but all the Danes have no trouble only proving that the problem is me and not the lock.
I cannot for the life of me pronounce the street I live on. How bout you try its: Dalslangsgade.
Going to the grocery store and trying to figure out the animal or origin in all the lunch meat, or read any label at all, but it’s kind of a good thing because all I buy is vegetables, as those are internationally recognizable. #healthyliving
Going up to school and trying to read the map in another language to find the International Student Center.
Every time I go to the embassy to get information or submit paperwork for my student visa, etc. they always look you up and down and you cannot help but imagine what they are thinking. Some of these assumptions are probably accurate but nevertheless your mind just races through different scenarios. Possibilities include, but are not limited to,

“She could be a very unsuspecting drug lord.”
“You radical left wing American trying to get in on our nationalized social services.”
“Your clothes are probably all way cheaper than mine because you bought them in America…bitch.”
“I wonder what all you brought into this country tax free, Face wash? Perfume? Whiskey?!?”
“Why would you EVER come to Denmark when BeyoncĂ© lives in America!”

The experience, while stimulating for the imagination, is also terrifying as your ability to live in this country hangs in the balance of a public sector employee giving you elevator eyes.

Without many friends because I haven’t started classes I have caught myself zoning out at well-dressed Danish girls in cafes and on the street thinking about how we could be the best of friends, romping around Copenhagen in our gray scale together. Then they notice I’m staring at them and I don’t know if I should say “I am not in fact checking you out, I just like your clothes and am friend-crushing on you” or “Hi, nice to meet you!” or “I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”. None of which would result in a friendship so I usually just run away.

Yet, the first week is also filled with triumphs. When I first biked the 2 miles it takes to get to school I was totally out of breath and thought I could be having a heart attack. Now I can do the whole route to and from without too much exhaustion. Improvement!

I realize this post is full of “First World Problems” and you will probably read this and think, “Come on, you live in a great European city how bad can it really be!” And you would be right, I shouldn’t complain. I’m just putting the idea out there that while moving is exciting and thrilling, for those of you planning to traverse the Atlantic in the near future this is just an FYI:

Moving countries is not like the first week of a new relationship, it’s like ordering a dress from a catalog and when you put it on it is NOTHING like it looked in 2D and you can’t decide if you love it or hate it but either way, you know no one else will be wearing it and you’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe it’s a good thing, and maybe it’s a bad thing. But you decide you just have to jump in the deep end, wear the dress, and stick out because at the end of the day you won’t fit in anyway. But then as they days go by you gradually start to see people wearing a dress kind of like this strange one from the catalog, and you think, “Huh, maybe I could fit in here after all.”

The first week.

A short story of what happened to me while packing:


As I unpack from college and begin packing for Denmark I have had a whirlwind of emotions. The un-pack and re-pack phenomenon brings out strange happenings. Saying farewell to a portion of ones life journey and embracing another. All you can expect is the unexpected when you find yourself idle and decide to commune with your feelings. It's frightening.

I say goodbye to dresses, picture frames, the multitudes of owls I have amasses over the years, etc. It's terribly materialistic (I am horrified to inform you of my material fetishism) but that's the ugly truth.

As I fold black shirt after grey shirt after black pants which will become the greyscale defining my Scandinavian wardrobe, I have moments of delight as I stand on the precipice of my new adventure! And simultaneous fear as the string of hanging elephants which graced my walls over the eight years of college and high school which I will leave behind hold a piece of me I am not sure I yet wish to part with.

And all this excitement and anticipation marks the catharsis which is moving on from college into the real world. I look at my packed suitcase with a sense of foreboding accomplishment.

Then it suddenly hits me: I didn't pack a single pair of underwear. Not one.

Is this the reality of four years of careful study, embodying to the best of my ability wholistic scholarship, to find myself 6,000 miles away without a single pair of panties?

A's in the hardest of theoretical courses, mastering the art of taking 5 dates to sorority formals completely undetected, finally discovering certain professors marital statuses, realizing the meaning of the acrostic "smh" which I've seen all over social media and pondered for months. ALL of this ALL to be strewn aside as I spend the first hours of my future life spending all my graduation money to buy overpriced Danish underpants.

Is the reality that post-grad life hangs so fragile in the balance of things?

Luckily I realized this now and have packed some underwear but the point remains: what is this strange purgatory? Between already lived life and life that awaits to be lived.

Concluding thought of the day: it's all contingent on remembering to pack your underwear.